Vulnerability

It is so true that . . ."People who have a disability in our society are often seen as less than and different by most others in the society. They are stereotyped in negative ways that deny their unique gifts and devalue their presence in our midst. Shunned, rejected, and set aside (even with good intentions), people lead lives that run outside of the valued core of our society. Often they live separately (as in group homes), work separately (as in workshops) or not at all, and recreate separately (as in special and separate sports programs). As a group this makes them vulnerable to further poor treatment, further setting apart, and further situations that can put their very lives at risk. Most people in society do not come to know them as unique human beings who have a contribution to make to the greater community. Instead, people easily agree to substandard lives for those faceless people who they do not know."

I am vulnerable because of our societal value. My mom protects me to ensure my safety. She asks the same question every special needs parent asks, "Who is going to be 'me' when I am no longer around." For the past decade, she worked hard in setting up a home for me. My roommates and I are blessed with loving care after my mom switched from a service provider to family managed support. My mom is not willing to settle for "good enough" and she continues to search for better.

". . . technology and the money for paid support form important parts of the whole picture for people with disabilities, but we have seen technology fail and we have seen human services fail."

We experience over and over again the limitations and frustrations of counting on services. My mom is now beginning to realize that there are better options to a service model.

"What can best protect the vulnerability of people at the edges of society is, ironically, the very thing from which they are separated - ordinary citizens.

. . . Interpersonal relationships, built on trust and commitment, seem to be the human way of making it through life in meaningful ways. . . We know this is true for ourselves. We know that it is equally true for our family members who have a disability.

. . . One of our deepest beliefs is that our sons and daughters are safer and more likely to be living good lives when they are in relationship with others in community who choose to spend their time with them. A second deep belief is that our communities are stronger and better places for us all when we learn how to welcome, accept and honour the gifts of our most vulnerable members. Our sons and daughters' presence teaches our communities to find new depths of welcome, love and understanding."

(Source: Klees, J. (2005) Our presence has roots: The ongoing story of Deohaeko Support Network. Toronto: Webcom Limited)