Our neighbor, a lovely lady, passed away at the age of 96. My mom used to go over to visit and sometimes stayed for tea. I have not visited her because of my fear for dogs. When her dog was in the back yard, I would keep a distance and stood across from the back lane to imitate the barking. We are going to miss her. One day, we will see her again in heaven.
What my mom loved the most was taking her out on bike rides. She made my mom happy because she enjoyed the rides so much. My mom does not have the same luck with us in terms of taking us out on the bike. She has to use "baits" to get me on the bike and she is not always successful. My Grandma says "no" half of the time for various reasons, such as too hot, too cold, not the right time. My sister absolutely refuses to ride the bike as she does not want to attract attention.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Musical Drama
My mom took me to a musical drama tonight. Even though the sound system had a lot of echoing and it squeaked loudly a couple of times, I didn't jump up and run away because there was so much music and singing. It did make me nervous and my palms were sweaty most of the evening.
The drama was about a couple whose relationship was romantic and loving when they were dating. It was a totally different story after marriage. They fought constantly and hated each other. The moral of the story was that good relationships do not happen naturally. It is important for couples to invest their time and energy in building and nurturing their relationships. It was touching to hear the actor and actress shared the dark moments of their own marriage. Through acting in this drama, their weakness and vulnerability hit home. They started to pray together and rebuild their relationship.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . . . . And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (I Corinthians 13: 4-8; 13) My sister could recite the above passages (in Chinese) when she was two-years-old.
My mom and dad had good relationships. They had differences in opinions, but they respected each other's view points. They had a few arguments, but could always worked things out. In their 7+ years of marriage, I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times they became confrontational.
The drama was about a couple whose relationship was romantic and loving when they were dating. It was a totally different story after marriage. They fought constantly and hated each other. The moral of the story was that good relationships do not happen naturally. It is important for couples to invest their time and energy in building and nurturing their relationships. It was touching to hear the actor and actress shared the dark moments of their own marriage. Through acting in this drama, their weakness and vulnerability hit home. They started to pray together and rebuild their relationship.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . . . . And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (I Corinthians 13: 4-8; 13) My sister could recite the above passages (in Chinese) when she was two-years-old.
My mom and dad had good relationships. They had differences in opinions, but they respected each other's view points. They had a few arguments, but could always worked things out. In their 7+ years of marriage, I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times they became confrontational.
Tour Bus
My mom has been too busy over the past couple of weeks to help me with writing my blog. Or, she was frozen by the lingering extreme cold weather - temperature dropping to as low as -47C with windchill. This week the temperature reaches above freezing. Being warm is not always good. We had freezing rain and the roads became very slippery. Fortunately, the temperature reached about +10C yesterday and melted the ice on sidewalks. With the rapid melting, there are puddles of muddy water everywhere. When they freeze overnight, they become skating rinks.
During one of those cold nights, my mom took me to a special event at the North Edmonton Alliance Church. She thought there would be music for me to enjoy. It turned out we only sang one song. The guest shared her testimony and I didn't understand a word of it. My mom was really impressed that I behaved exceptionally well the whole time. I was not as co-operative the last time we visited this church a few years ago. That time I absolutely refused to stay and we had to leave.
The highlight of that evening was our ride on a luxurious tour bus. My sister volunteers at a children program called Awana at our church (South Edmonton Alliance Church). She needed to use our van, so she dropped us off at the Chinese Multicultural Centre to catch the chartered bus. The bus was quite new and the seats were very comfortable. I loved the ride and I could see so much from sitting up high. The bus ride to and from Chinatown to the church made up for the lack of music.
During one of those cold nights, my mom took me to a special event at the North Edmonton Alliance Church. She thought there would be music for me to enjoy. It turned out we only sang one song. The guest shared her testimony and I didn't understand a word of it. My mom was really impressed that I behaved exceptionally well the whole time. I was not as co-operative the last time we visited this church a few years ago. That time I absolutely refused to stay and we had to leave.
The highlight of that evening was our ride on a luxurious tour bus. My sister volunteers at a children program called Awana at our church (South Edmonton Alliance Church). She needed to use our van, so she dropped us off at the Chinese Multicultural Centre to catch the chartered bus. The bus was quite new and the seats were very comfortable. I loved the ride and I could see so much from sitting up high. The bus ride to and from Chinatown to the church made up for the lack of music.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Power of Inclusion
My mom went to a seminar yesterday and she heard a touching story. . . . .
An individual was born with severe multiple disabilities - blind, deaf, wheelchair bound and totally non-responsive. His parents believed in inclusion and integrated him fully in their own community. He attended regular classes in his community school. Being right in the community, not just in physical presence, but being included as a part of his community, he developed relationships with people around him. When he died at the age of 22, over 600 people attended his funeral. Families and friends celebrated his life by sharing pictures and stories of how he had touched the lives of others. He had accomplished a lot in spite of having absolutely no facial expression and no ability to interact with others. One person commented that he could not speak but he had a loud voice. He was valued by his community because his parents' belief in inclusion provided him with the opportunity to develop meaningful long-termed relationships outside of his immediate family.
My mom was not aware of inclusion as an option for me when I went through the school system. I attended segregated classrooms in schools away from home. Relationships I developed at the different schools ended when I moved from one special needs program to another in various parts of the city.
My mom loves me dearly and she was my sole primary caregiver for many years until she could no longer managed physically as a result of repeated whiplash injuries. My mom takes me everywhere and I have been in touch with a large number of people. Due to my lack of social and interaction skills, I have only developed a few friendships, mostly with my mom's generation. Recently, my mom recognizes the importance of building a circle of support for me.
My mom begins to actively involve me in developing relationships. When others greet us, instead of responding for me, she encourages me to do so. She helps me with initiating contacts and sharing information about me so that others can get to know me more. This helps to break the ice and as families and friends start to approach me directly, I have the opportunity to learn how to interact socially. This is a very useful skill for me to acquire. It is going to be a slow process and will take me years of practice to master the skill.
An individual was born with severe multiple disabilities - blind, deaf, wheelchair bound and totally non-responsive. His parents believed in inclusion and integrated him fully in their own community. He attended regular classes in his community school. Being right in the community, not just in physical presence, but being included as a part of his community, he developed relationships with people around him. When he died at the age of 22, over 600 people attended his funeral. Families and friends celebrated his life by sharing pictures and stories of how he had touched the lives of others. He had accomplished a lot in spite of having absolutely no facial expression and no ability to interact with others. One person commented that he could not speak but he had a loud voice. He was valued by his community because his parents' belief in inclusion provided him with the opportunity to develop meaningful long-termed relationships outside of his immediate family.
My mom was not aware of inclusion as an option for me when I went through the school system. I attended segregated classrooms in schools away from home. Relationships I developed at the different schools ended when I moved from one special needs program to another in various parts of the city.
My mom loves me dearly and she was my sole primary caregiver for many years until she could no longer managed physically as a result of repeated whiplash injuries. My mom takes me everywhere and I have been in touch with a large number of people. Due to my lack of social and interaction skills, I have only developed a few friendships, mostly with my mom's generation. Recently, my mom recognizes the importance of building a circle of support for me.
My mom begins to actively involve me in developing relationships. When others greet us, instead of responding for me, she encourages me to do so. She helps me with initiating contacts and sharing information about me so that others can get to know me more. This helps to break the ice and as families and friends start to approach me directly, I have the opportunity to learn how to interact socially. This is a very useful skill for me to acquire. It is going to be a slow process and will take me years of practice to master the skill.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Extreme Cold
The forecast for last night's temperature was minus 35 C (not counting windchill). My mom decided she'd better plug in her van to ensure she could start it this morning for work. She goes to the Chinese community footcare clinics on Wednesday mornings. She has lots of equipment to lug along making it difficult to go there by bus.
My mom has not plugged in her van for many, many years. Since the battery is several years old already, she did not want to take a chance of not being able to start the van. When she was ready for bed at 3 am. this morning, she went out to the garage. She could not find the cord from the block heater. She opened the hood and climbed up in front of it. She used a flash light to search everywhere under the hood and could not find it. It was freezing cold, so she gave up and came in to go to bed with a heated up magic bag to thaw herself.
Praise the Lord! The van started instantly this morning.
My mom is tired tonight, so she will be a good girl and go to bed right after publishing this post. It is midnight right now according to our time.
My mom has not plugged in her van for many, many years. Since the battery is several years old already, she did not want to take a chance of not being able to start the van. When she was ready for bed at 3 am. this morning, she went out to the garage. She could not find the cord from the block heater. She opened the hood and climbed up in front of it. She used a flash light to search everywhere under the hood and could not find it. It was freezing cold, so she gave up and came in to go to bed with a heated up magic bag to thaw herself.
Praise the Lord! The van started instantly this morning.
My mom is tired tonight, so she will be a good girl and go to bed right after publishing this post. It is midnight right now according to our time.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Snow
Sunday (2 days ago) was a miserable day. It snowed all day and the wind was bitterly cold. My sister and mom decided not to shovel the snow until it stopped snowing. Yesterday, the sun was out and the wind was not as strong. It was still cold though - minus 46 C with windchill. Due to the extreme cold weather, my mom worried that our snow blower might not start. She hauled the snow blower inside the house to warm it up. It was a challenge for her to lug the snow blower up and down the stairs.
We had a lot of snow on the ground. As a result of the strong wind, snow was almost knee high at some parts of the parking lot. Without the snow blower it would have been very difficult to clear the snow. It took more than 2 hours using the snow blower. I cannot imagine how long it would take by hand. I am thankful that two of my caregivers went out to help my mom. Without help my mom would have to be flat in bed today. She is sore, but is able to get out of bed and be somewhat functional.
Last evening, due to shortage of staff I went over to visit with my mom until the second staff came in for her shift. My mom would have kept me longer if she weren't so tired. She persuaded me to play the piano so that she could rest while sitting beside me. I played the songs she regularly practices. My attention span tends to be short, so I soon lost interest and wanted to stop playing. To keep me at the piano, my mom started to sing a favorite song of mine, Majesty. My mom is a terrible singer and she cannot remember the whole song and most of the lyrics. She opened a hymn book to see if she could find the song. No luck!
"Let me find a song you know." She said. "How about He is Lord?"
Before she could find the page, I was already playing the song. You see, my mom has no idea how much I know.
We had a lot of snow on the ground. As a result of the strong wind, snow was almost knee high at some parts of the parking lot. Without the snow blower it would have been very difficult to clear the snow. It took more than 2 hours using the snow blower. I cannot imagine how long it would take by hand. I am thankful that two of my caregivers went out to help my mom. Without help my mom would have to be flat in bed today. She is sore, but is able to get out of bed and be somewhat functional.
Last evening, due to shortage of staff I went over to visit with my mom until the second staff came in for her shift. My mom would have kept me longer if she weren't so tired. She persuaded me to play the piano so that she could rest while sitting beside me. I played the songs she regularly practices. My attention span tends to be short, so I soon lost interest and wanted to stop playing. To keep me at the piano, my mom started to sing a favorite song of mine, Majesty. My mom is a terrible singer and she cannot remember the whole song and most of the lyrics. She opened a hymn book to see if she could find the song. No luck!
"Let me find a song you know." She said. "How about He is Lord?"
Before she could find the page, I was already playing the song. You see, my mom has no idea how much I know.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Negative Attention Seeking
Yesterday, I was agitated and I was not able to express what was troubling me. I acted out by throwing my new CD player on the floor. I have behaved like this periodically in the past and have caused damages to a few CD players. My mom has taught my caregivers to ignore any of my undesirable behaviors because reactions from them will reinforce my behavior. They tried to redirect me by giving me stickers, which worked initially. Nobody knew why I was agitated and since the real problem was not resolved, I continued to act out. I picked up my caregiver's CD player and intentionally threw it on the floor right in front of her.
My mom was really upset when she heard how I behaved yesterday. She suspected that it might be related to my frustration with the CD's and/or players. When I listen to my CD's, I keep pressing the buttons to search for the song I like. Sometimes I like one specific part of the song and I am constantly pressing buttons to repeat what I want to listen. My actions ruin my CD's and shorten the life span of my CD players. Then I get frustrated because nothing is working and I cannot listen to my music.
My mom has two challenges now. One is to figure out strategies to eliminate my negative attention seeking behavior of throwing CD players. The other is to come up with ideas for me to be able to listen to music without having to replace CD's and CD players on a regular basis. Sometimes my CD's only last for days and my CD players last for only weeks.
My mom was really upset when she heard how I behaved yesterday. She suspected that it might be related to my frustration with the CD's and/or players. When I listen to my CD's, I keep pressing the buttons to search for the song I like. Sometimes I like one specific part of the song and I am constantly pressing buttons to repeat what I want to listen. My actions ruin my CD's and shorten the life span of my CD players. Then I get frustrated because nothing is working and I cannot listen to my music.
My mom has two challenges now. One is to figure out strategies to eliminate my negative attention seeking behavior of throwing CD players. The other is to come up with ideas for me to be able to listen to music without having to replace CD's and CD players on a regular basis. Sometimes my CD's only last for days and my CD players last for only weeks.
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